If you've read my Losing my Job and Loving It post you know that before Roman I had a job and career that I loved. At 15 I had my first job working in a hotel doing laundry. Once I turned 16 I started cleaning hotel rooms. A year later I started my first retail job and worked both jobs while going to high school for awhile, and I've had at least one job ever since that day. It's something that has always been part of my identity but even more so in my last job in real estate. I lived for talking shop with anyone and everyone that wanted to discuss real estate. I loved gaining the knowledge of the business and sharing that knowledge with others. When that part of my life vanished I was left to pick up the pieces and redefine myself.
When you're pregnant everyone is quick to share their experience with how your life will change after baby comes; sleepless nights, no time for yourself, and a few uncontrollable tears. The one thing that people don't tell you, or at least I never heard about, was how it will affect the way you define yourself, especially if you decide to stay home full time. When I thought I was going back to work I knew exactly who I was. I was a mom to an adorable boy but who could also work at a job she loved. When the career was taken away I was a little confused as to where I fit in. Of course I was ecstatic to be able to stay home with Roman, but I suddenly didn't quite know how I fit in with the rest of the world. It took me some time but I feel like I finally know who I am again and feel just as productive in society as everyone else!
Without a doubt the thing that helped me find myself the most was play group. Odd that taking Roman to play with kids and have fun was instrumental in finding myself. I think it's incredibly important to get out and interact with people, especially other moms. There is something about having a sounding board of other women who are going through all the same things you are that reassures you that you aren't alone. Plus you get to see the variety of different types of moms there are in the world. Not everyone has to have a career to be interesting or to engage in intelligent conversation. You'd probably be surprised at some of the topics that come up between a group of moms while our kids eat Lego.
Of course this blog has been, and is, incredibly important to me and has helped in so many ways. It has given me some of the things I loved most about work. I constantly have projects and posts on the go and deadlines. Man I love me some deadlines! The need for new and interesting content also keeps my creative juices flowing, which if you know me, is incredibly important because I can get bored easily. I think I subconsciously get some strange satisfaction when I tell myself that I have to sit down and get some work (blogging) done.
Of course after working for over 10 years I couldn't completely give up work, plus having a little extra money coming in when the family is living off one income is always nice. Over the last year I've discovered a love of tea after watching a video on YouTube. After starting a substantial collection of tea I decided to become a Steeped Tea consultant! Not only do I get to share my love of tea with people but I get to do it while earning a little extra cash! I also took a contract job with the company John works for. After the store closes, and John is at home with Roman, I go in and clean the showroom. This actually works out great because it's only two days a week and John is always home before I have to work. Plus the money I make works out to the same amount I would be bringing home if I was working full time and having to pay daycare. How can I go wrong!? I find it a little humorous that my career as officially come full circle to cleaning again.
It can be so easy to focus all of your attention on your kids, especially when they are little, and the person you've know for years pre-kids seems to melt away into the shadows. Then one day syou're standing in front of the mirror looking at a person that you don't recognize. I think it's important when you're staying home with your kids full time to make sure you don't loose yourself. When I feel like a person outside of "Roman's Mom", I feel like I'm a better mom to Roman because engaging in my own interests and activities makes me a happier person in general.
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